Not Me Monday

We do not have a little boy in our house that keeps saying the word “boobies”. Our children are much more refined than that and would never use such talk!
Adam did not have to have a little talk with our young man about such language in which our perfectly innocent little Xavier replied, “OK Daddy, I won’t say boobies. No more boobie talk. I will not say boobies ever again. Don’t you worry Daddy, I’m not going to say boobies.”
And I did not laugh during this conversation at all!

Upon arriving at one of our favorite lunch spots Saturday afternoon, a slew of teenage girls oohed and ahhed over Aiden. When they shouted to me, although Adam was carrying him, “You have a cute baby!” I did not reply, “What, you weren’t oohing and ahhing over my husband?”
I would never embarrass teenage girls or my husband for that matter.

Not Me Monday

We did not have a ton of ants crawling all over my inside plants. The plants I have had for 7+ years, plants that I’ve never had any kind of a bug in, plants that I actually enjoyed and did not kill like all other plant life that had been in or around my house.
Although, it is nice to have the plants gone, giving us a little more room in the dining room for the high chair.

Adam and I did not totally stress out Friday evening while trying to figure out where to eat. Eating out brings nothing but joy and relaxation. We never stress out about where to go.

Saturday I had plans to go spend some time with my friend Olivia. I did not feel a slight ounce of guilt when I left the boys screaming, crying, and begging not for me to leave.
I did not spend over 4 hours at Olivia’s fancy new apartment. And I definitely was not slightly jealous of how crazy nice this place is! Never jealous, just pure happiness and joy for friends!

I’m not totally dreading my dentist appointment tomorrow. I do not hate going to the dentist and I definitely do not have another cavity. The pain I’ve been feeling on the one side of my mouth when I eat sugary foods is all a part of my imagination.

And I’m not totally excited for my good ole friend Stacy that gets to go see NKOTB in Tulsa TONIGHT! Again, not jealous, pure happiness and joy!

Not Me Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

I did not forget that Damon lost his tooth on Tuesday night and that I needed to play tooth fairy and leave him some money. When we all got up on Wednesday morning and Damon discovered that the tooth fairy forgot him, I didn’t immediately slap myself in the head for forgetting such an important thing, like the tooth fairy coming.
I told him that she must not have had him on the schedule since he lost it so late in the evening. His reply, “Well she better have me down for tonight, I want my dollar.”

On Sunday when I was needing something sweet to eat, I did not eat the boys m&ms that they got from their piano teacher for Valentine’s day. I did not assume that they forgot all about them since they sat on the counter since February 10th. (Seriously, who leaves m&ms laying around for almost 2 weeks???)
When Xavier decided to have those for his snack the other day after school, I did not have to tell my poor boys that their mean mother ate their candy. Xavier did not have a break down and begin to weep. And I did not feel so guilty that I took my two boys out for ice cream to make up for my candy-thieving ways.
I’m also not slightly embarrassed that the told on me to their piano teacher…oh what she must think!

Saturday we went to a wedding reception where they had these pretty little potted wheat plants as the centerpieces. I really liked them and thought they would work well for an upcoming church dinner. As I looked at the plant, holding it up by one hand, I did not drop the plant on the table causing a loud noise as well as causing the dirt to spill out of the plant on to the table, on Jan, and all over the floor. Nope, I would never be that careless!

Not Me Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

I did not spend over 2 hours on the phone with my sister talking about such important things like All My Children and whatever else that was going on in our lives. Which means I did not put off the work that I needed to do that day to have such an important conversation.

I did not get a little emotional when they killed Greenlee on All My Children. First of all it is a soap opera and not reality and I never get them confused and cry during All My Children, NEVER! Second, I didn’t even like Greenlee and was glad she was leaving the show. So why would I be sad that she died? The thing is, I used to like Greenlee, a lot, and they started showing flashbacks from when I used to like her, so that made me sad that not only was she dead but that they ruined a good character.
But hey, no body has been found yet so there is still hope that in 5 years she can come back with amnesia and for whatever reason was drawn to little Pine Valley, PA.

I did not have a terrible headache that started Wednesday afternoon and still had most of the day on Thursday. It did not cause such a pain behind my left eye that I didn’t contemplate digging my eyeball out and poking my brain with a stick…you know because that would have made the pain go away.
I did not have to reschedule my dentist appointment on Thursday because Aiden was projectile vomiting. He did not throw up during my Institute class, causing milk to be shot out of him and all over him, me, the table, my scriptures, and the floor. He did not do it two more times after that causing Bro Knapp to stop class and help me along with another girl in the class to clean up his vomit. (Although I am so grateful I did not have the time to feed him breakfast, normally he eats eggs in the morning and that would have been really gross.)

Adam after looking at our phone bill asked, “Who do you call in Leavenworth?” He, not remembering that my good friend Tricia lives in Leavenworth. I did not reply back to him, in front of our boys, “My prison boyfriend.” And our little Xavier then did not ask, “Why, was he bad? Why is your boyfriend in prison?” So innocent…

I did not take 2 hour naps on Thursday, Friday and Saturday (I only got a 30 minute nap on Wednesday). I am a very busy person with a whole list of things to do this month (that is actually very true) and would not throw away all this time in which I could have been working, drawing, cooking, and what not. I do justify my 2 hour naps on the horrendous headache I had off and on all week. The only way for me to cure a headache is with a good nap and all…since I try to stay away from meds and all.

Not Me Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

I did not totally lose my religion when my laptop started acting up, running slower than a turtle and causing me to erase everything off of it and restoring it back to factory settings. I never warned my children “Don’t pay attention to the words coming out of momma’s mouth.” Because I would never talk in such a way and especially would never do it in front of my boys. Nor was I tempted to throw the laptop out the window or run over it with my car or stomp on it with all my might and I definitely did not dream of doing all three. I have way more patience than that.

During a conversation at Enrichment in which we discussed such highly intellectual and spiritual things such as mammograms and pap smears, did I NOT admit to preferring the gynecologist over the dentist. And I definitely DID NOT say, “My teeth are in bad shape but my uterus is fine.” And I definitely did not say that in the presence of such people like the Relief Society President or the Stake President’s wife. That would be tacky to discuss such personal issues in public.
And the Relief Society President did not bust into laughter as we left the church that night passing by Bro Wangsgaard, my dentist, in the hallway.

I did not get a speeding ticket on Friday. I always fall the rules of the land and I never speed through small towns. I’m totally aware that that would be dangerous and small town cops have nothing better to do than to pull little ole me over. After receiving said ticket I never wondered if I would not have a huge fine to pay if a.) I cried b.) wore a low cut shirt or c.)all the above
I also did not blame the cop for pulling me over, I would never put the responsibility on someone else.

I was not slightly jealous that Adam was under the weather yesterday and got to spend the whole day in bed. I would never wish to be sick just so I could spend the whole day in bed nor would I feel jealous towards my husband for being sick, I would be totally sympathetic and caring and take care of my poor sick husband.

UPDATE: We now think Adam has strep throat. So NOT jealous of him, he can totally keep it to himself. Since I've had it TWICE this year, no need to try it again. No thanks. Sorry Babe!

Not Me Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

The following are things I would never do because I'm the perfect mother and wife! And remember no judgments...because like I said...I would never do these things.

I would never watch Aiden eat food off the floor along with JoJo, the dog we were dogsitting. I’m too much of a germaphobe to let my baby eat food off the floor with a dog. That is disgusting!

And I would never laugh at Xavier who was crying over a horse dying in a BatMan cartoon. It is not funny when small children cry over such things. I'm a good mother and I would just hug and comfort the poor guy without any laughter. (Although seriously, who has an animal die in a cartoon?)

I was not totally devastated on Thursday when I learned that Damon and Xavier had only ½ day of school on Friday…nope because I love having all my boys at home all afternoon.

On Friday, I did not avoid a phone call from a sister in our ward because I was scared she might ask me to do something I didn't want to do. I didn't have the thought, "What if she wants me to sub in Primary or something." I would never just not pick up the phone and wait to see if she leaves a voicemail so I could call her back at my own discretion. Never would I do this because not only am I a good mother and wife, I'm also a good little mormon!

And of course I called her back right away, I would never just not return someone's call.